outside of the people who have no choice, people don't bother with me. i'm not a nice, caring individual, and i won't protect you by sheltering my opinions under some roof of consideration. i'm rude. i'm still at the point where i don't care who i've got anymore, because in less than two years i'll be long gone. maybe if you're one of the people i enjoy being around, associating with, or i'm just thinking your friendship will somehow benefit my well-being and future, i'll let you know where that is. perhaps we'll catch up when i'm well established and you've by then forgotten about me and we can start over.
stop telling me what i already know. i know that i push people away, and i know that i can't get past these stable thoughts in my mind about losing people, so i just don't get close to them to begin with. blame me, it's a defect.
i've kicked up my feet and gotten comfortable in the fact that people don't stick around. it's almost gotten exciting for me, in that if i don't like this batch, it won't be long before they begin not wanting anything to do with me, and throw me out the passenger window of their moving vehicle on the highway for the next car to crush my cardboard skeleton and wait for me to degrade on the hot asphalt that is my grave.
at this point, i'm just waiting for the new ones to mosey in and send me their waves of interest. i wish i could just tell people what my problem is, before they start liking who i am as a person and all that other crap. i wish i could just tell people that i'll destroy who you thought i was and become this 'new' individual with 'new' goals and a 'new' mindset and a 'new' attitude all of which you don't like at all.
this is who i am, have been, and plan on being for a while.
oh, and i haven't changed.
you have.
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This was very 'you'. Don't change a thing...
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