october 2008

[october1st, 1:12p.m., room 114]
i love using the orange trays at school for lunch, because there's only about five in the entire school. we had a late start today, and it was the first morning in a while where i didn't wake up tired. tomorrow is sophomore testing, and i think i should be taking it more seriously, but i'm not, and i don’t plan on it either. i guess my mind wanders off from time to time. zach is wearing the same thing he wore monday, and i only remember because it matched; again. he matches a lot. i don't like taking medicine. i feel like i then am depending on some pharmaceutical, and i don't like that idea. erdmann's talking to herself. i feel more grown-up when i'm wearing multiple rings. i really am not a huge fan of dressing up; i really have no material to do so anyways. today is the first day in two weeks where it hasn't been sub-artic weather at school. i suppose the air cooler is back to normal. i write really fast. i haven't written anything on my hand today, yet. i take ten minute showers - no matter what. i want the nikon p80, but the price tag laced to it is not a fan of mine. shortened classes today totally threw me off, and that's why this ending is so abrupt, but i suppose that's nothing new. most of these endings aren't very concluding.
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[october2nd, 10:12p.m.]
i'm on the phone with someone who thinks just as much as i do about things. i need to take this nail polish off tomorrow for work. i used to drink vitamin water like it was my job. my keyboard sounds like a horse clomping down a cobblestone road. i found a calculator today! i have the same birthday as dane cook. i just watched the battery on my phone drop. when i'm driving, i actually do recognize what a huge handle i have on the lives that swerve next to me; it scares me half to death. i clean out my phone's texts and call log nearly every night - though no one touches my phone anyways. i save the nice things people send to me. you don't know it, but i'll walk you to the front of the school everyday, just to get more time to talk to you. really, i have to back-track and get to my locker before i go home. i like when people say they'll call me back, and actually do. i like when people give me the time that things are going to happen. i write out my venting in word documents, but i never actually tell those people how i feel. tori and i are going to have a chap stick - use contest. it's going to be epic. i've only been wearing these rings for about three days, and i already feel extremely awkward when they're off. i always speed. i repeat keywords three times. i'm really excited to have ms. herther for biology because after sophomore testing with her today, i can tell it's going to be a really interesting experience. i tell my mom to chillax at least once every day. when she wants me offline, she says "caitlin? goodnight!!" and, i'm supposed to take the hint. she just did that.
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[october3rd, 12:40p.m., room 114]
zach's not here today. i never carry gum around with me. no one has ever given me a flower, but for the record - i like daises. i like waking up to new messages and missed calls. my phone is always on vibrate. i get really competitive in gym class. i rarely ever get sick. i'm so glad it's friday. i'm sick of letting people think i can be bossed around. last night, my neighbor's trees decided it was autumn. i feel compelled to take photos lately, but i'm tired of the same things; i want to find someone interesting to be the subject of those shots. it's sixty-four degrees in my house - all day, every day. i really like taking pictures at school. i like when people tell me they've read these, and i like when they say they liked them. that girl, she sits adjacent to my desk, is the biggest airhead i've ever met. she's so difficult to hold a conversation with, and even more so a friendship. when i write fast, i feel like those old typewriters. i don't like how i look when i laugh. i don't like my teeth. i like being complimented in person, as opposed to through a keyboard. that girl, she sits directly in front of me, is the most two-faced person i've ever talked to in my life. i'm so disappointed in myself for trusting her. could you check my back? i think there's a knife in it.
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[october4th, 2:35p.m.]
my hands are still sticky from work today; i've washed them three times. i hate when my plans fall through. i love to be kissed on the forehead. there's $6.59 in my pocket, which is surprising because i typically don't use my pockets. i have a feeling today is going to be a great day. i like my music to be injected with bass. i just came to the realization that i probably will not be buying a car in march of 2009, and that's because i got my paycheck today. when i do buy a car, i decided i'm having a slumber party in it. i enjoy being right. i won't argue a point unless i'm positive i'm going to win. i wish my computer had more memory space. i am not a "people-person". i only like reading realistic fiction. i woke up an hour early today, by accident. i take full advantage of the free things i get from work. maybe this will be continued later on, but i have a fairly busy day and i need to go get prepared for it.
[continued11:38p.m.]
i don't like being cold. i wish i took more initiative to do things. i could type on and on about how good i feel right now, but i don't want anyone else to be even close to experiencing it. maybe that's selfish, or maybe i'm just deprived, and so i have little to say.
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[october5th, 2:22p.m.]
my biggest challenge is letting go and forgetting about people. it's definitely not giving up, because i do that a lot. i think too much. i can't wait to hang out with you tonight; i think it's more than obvious i need some cheering up. i slept in until 1:45 p.m. today. everyone hates when i do that, and today, so did i. at night, i don't like crawling up the stairs to that coffin i call my room. i never like walking up the stairs with the lights off. i like intellectual conversations. i like talking in an english accent. if i never go to another school dance, i'll have saved near five-hundred dollars in expenses. i hate my high school's dances, but i'd still like to be asked to one. i sleep with the blinds closed. the races from the speedway flood my room during the summer. this is the first day in two weeks where i didn't wake up cold. i don't wish on stars. i don't wish on 11:11 anymore. if i had a dollar for every time i got my hopes up, i wouldn't need a job. if there's one thing i can't wait for this year, it's track season. i only like to paint my fingernails purple or white. i want to write when i get older, but about what - i haven't a clue. i've only been on a plane twice, to and from flordia. i don't know where my mom is right now. i hate sitting in my living room alone when it’s dark out. i think people are watching me when i can't see them, and that entire idea just makes me sick. if my mom doesn't like you, i can't. i don't like when my nails are long. i'm very bad with eye contact. i like when radios play my favorite songs. i feel most comfortable with myself when i'm in sweatpants. i believe everything happens for a reason. i woke up to a text from someone i barely ever talk to, this morning, and it took me four hours to respond. we're out of lunch money. my english teacher, kari, hasn't pasted a grade on my paper for divorce yet. that's annoying. i get sick of the people i know. i'm supposed to make a water-bottle rocket for science on friday. i race my microwave timer; i try to see if i can do things in the time allotted. i usually win. i like being included, even in the things i don't like to do. i don't like limits. i like songs that mean something. i get too attached to the people i like to be with. i like spending time with you. i don't breathe the way i used to. i'm not the same person i was a year ago; i think i'm worse.
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[october6th, 9:38a.m. room245]
wow; his shirt is really tight. each room in this school has a different temperature. the last two entries i wrote i don't like at all. i work both days this weekend. i like how my nails look right now. i cleaned these shoes.. finally. i don't laugh at anything on comedy central. i don't like how my knees look. i'm tired of brand names. i like falling asleep on my stomach, and waking up on my back. i like observing. just because i'm quiet doesn't mean something is wrong. i like when mrs. gross goes and works on her computer with her back to the class. i wonder what people see me as. eion is doing magic tricks. i can hear the chalk slamming into the board in the room next to this one. i wish you weren't kidding all the time. i don't like erasing things. i'm losing the scent of you from the things i own. it must be really frustrating having short hair. i like studying people until i find something i like about them. i hate trying to fall asleep. chicken patty for lunch. i have nothing to do right now. the book i haven't been reading is due thursday. when i have a lot to write about, my handwriting becomes illegible to anyone by me. i don't like being anonymous. i like when people play with my hands. i hate dark, stormy, windy weather; it scares me. i hate sitting alone - anywhere. i'm alone right now. i'm alone a lot. i think when i work during the week, it's pointless. german exchange students leave today, and i almost feel guilty. they were here two weeks, and i barely said a word to any of them. i really want to host one next year. trevor just came back to class. he was home schooled the year before last, and i've noticed that i don't get along with home schooled kids. i haven't got along with any of the home schooled kids i've met. we don't think the same, or act the same, or something, but it's this social boundary that every one of them i've met, can't cross. i like when my wrist cracks. i hope i don't need my geometry book next hour, because it's locked away downstairs. ever since you came to high school, you look down on everyone else. we used to talk a lot, and now i absolutely hate any time i spend conversing with you. you need to realize that you treat everyone like they're less than that of you, and it's really the most unattractive thing i've ever encountered. trevor is not funny. this study hall is really dragging on. i think it's funny when people avoid me. trevor always ends his sentences with my name. it's obnoxious. trevor just texted me to alert me that he'd like me to pick up his paper airplane. i didn't respond. if it wasn't obvious, i'm not a huge fan of trevor, or his planes. i don't know how derrick, the cake-decorator at work, became so good at what he does. i thought teachers could only wear jeans on fridays? steve is going to give me this yellow shirt i really like. it's only 10:09. i hate this study hall.
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[october7th, 8:26p.m.]
i'm really impatient, and i spent two hours today just waiting. i don't like rules. we're tie-dying tomorrow in fashion and design. i like waking up to the sound of raindrops pitter-pattering on my window. the only perfect thing about me is my vision, though i hear i look good with glasses on. today, i understood the entire "yelling-at-the-tv" concept. i hate when people try to guess those mentioned in these entries. i hate the school's computers. i am a very competitive with everything. there hasn't been a taco bell day established for this week either; i think the entire idea is fading out. green tea used to be my thing until my heart went on protest. i like to think beautiful mess by jason mraz was written about me. that sounds conceited, a little, but i don't care. i get side-tracked very easily. mom says i'm "anal-retentive". for the record; i got a ninety-six on my divorce paper. my hair is very difficult to brush when it's wet. i like how pterodactyl is spelt. lately, it's been really hard to me to process when people spell out words. i took more printer paper from school, because we're out. tomorrow is going to kill this is entire week, and i totally can't wait.
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[october8th, 9:43a.m. room 245]
for the record; i was absolutely wrong about today. i'm just going to sit here and think a while.
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[october9th, 7:53p.m.]
i hate sitting in the front of mr. grimm's classroom. i hate how i look in fluorescents. i got into an argument with mrs. lutter today. she just makes me realize how good of a teacher mr. kerr was, and i really want him back. my phone is falling apart; but when next december blows in, i'm buying the blackberry storm. tomorrow is pajama day in my book. i don't like being assigned to cheer people up. i don't drive with mom as much as i used to. you keep ignoring the fact we aren't friends, but maybe you should just accept it - it will really benefit you in the long run. october is dead. i want mom to buy halloween candy, but for me. last year she bought fruit roll-ups; i knew we were the best house on the block. we get our tie-dyed shirts back tomorrow, and i'm not too excited - considering mine is a mess of color - it will probably be the ugliest array displayed in our class. don't take this so literal.
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[october10th, 10:08p.m.]
i like making my sister laugh. i like exaggerating things. my tie-dye shirt wasn't even that bad, but i still don't like it. i gutted my ipod of all the rap on it today; it feels good. i like knowing i don't need to search through it to find something i actually like listening to. musically-speaking, i did a lot in these past months, and i can only hope to parallel it next summer. i'm fast at typing; i was the fastest in my keyboarding class last year. today, in science, we launched rockets off. mine was alright, but that's really the only one i paid attention to, as i was busy exploring the football fields with janessa. i love that science class. i get really anxious when i leave things on; my phone, my camera, my ipod. i don't like being critiqued. i can't keep in the truth. i work tomorrow, and sunday. mrs. bush told me to "quit wandering" today. i wasn't even wandering. i have better things to do than this. my apologies.
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[october11th, 9:50p.m.]
i wish someone would answer their phone; i'm bored. i wouldn't mind some mcdonalds right now. i hate being fifteen. today, of all days, i had so many plans i had to cancel on, due to lack of a ride. i hate doing that. i took a nap after work, from three until seven. i'll answer my phone in my sleep, talk to you, hang up, and have absolutely no recollection of it. i did that today. i like the people i work with, it's the rude customers who come in that i don't really enjoy. i hate how my entire family thinks i have a disability with waking up early. just because i choose not to, doesn't mean i can't. the wood floors upstairs are warping, and i can feel air pockets when i walk across them. my room absorbs cool air. thanks, i really needed to hear that. mom said if she won gambling tonight, we'd go shopping tomorrow. i'd really like to go shopping - i told her to quit while she's ahead. i don't like when my front door is unlocked. people always cut through my yard. i need to mow the lawn tomorrow. i need to deposit my check from work; preferably before it expires. i think about the future a lot. i can't wait to start my life, for real.
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[october12th, 9:13p.m.]
i'm stuck in my room. i like walking to work at 6:50a.m. when the sun peers over the horizon and paints the clouds bursts of pink and yellow. i raise my voice all the time. i do have an attitude problem, i know this. i finally finished that book i got sidetracked on reading. i walk quietly. i can hear the bass trickling through the walls that split our rooms. i like sitting in the car, but not when we're near the destination. i got to pick my geometry seat on friday. i have gym tomorrow, and the only way i'll enjoy it is if we're playing flag football again. ccd tonight really wasn't bad - i like making people laugh, and it's really all i did for a solid hour. i feel like my weekend dissolved into work, and i don't like that at all. i'm confused about religion. i don't want to hear your opinions on it, and i don't want to be forced into anything. when the time comes, i'll be the one who has to make sense of the decisions i've made, and i want to be the one who has made them. i'm not saying i don't believe, but i'm not saying i do either. i don't want to confide in a higher power because i feel like it's a duty of mine. i don't want to be sent on a guilt-trip because i'm confused - because honestly, i lack interest. it's not being lazy, it's being logical, and all i do - all day - is think. i'm not going to promise anyone anything, because i don't even know what i'm dealing with. my dog has more nicknames than anyone else i can think of. i hate drifting, in any form. i'm a fan of confrontation. i don't know the names of the members in my favorite bands, and i don't want to. i'm mowing the lawn tomorrow, maybe. i hate how my hands look without nail polish. i'm making bets on the people who told me they'd call back; you want in?
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[october13th, 12:45p.m. room114]
i don't like forwards, and i don't like "mass texts". i feel unimportant. even though we probably won't be able to go to that concert, it makes me feel good about how excited you are to be going with me, and that you haven't forgotten. i'm extremely hypocritical. i know i'm pale, you know i'm pale, but i don't like to be described as such. i notice everything. i hear i'm smart; i have no clue why that is, but i'd have a difficult time arguing it. i don't like the sound of leaves plucking off trees. the leaves that situate just outside my windowsill have begun blushing shades of yellow. i'm bored with this.
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[october14th, 9:53a.m. room245]
i like the wallpaper at the bank. i know who is home by the shoes piled at the door. no one is ever around in the bathroom during fourth hour. ever. i hate cleaning up at work. this study hall teacher was dubbed "the best" today. if being the best means not paying any mind to the fact that nothing productive ever goes on in here, then i'd agree. chalk dust has crawled into my skin. i haven't driven in a while, and i think that's because mom's mad at me. she mowed the lawn last night, in the dark, for the idea that she doesn't want to give me ten dollars to do it. i think. i believe dad's birthday falls on father's day this year - how ironic. i hate how german numbers are said backwards. i hate how my sister is always angry. "you're staring intensely somewhere." eion told me that. oh, trevor is back. my mouth is uneven, and when i think i'm frowning, i'm actually not. i feel like my school day is missing something. i never get homework anymore. that girl in the hallway won't quit looking at me. i hit my snooze at least three times before i get out of bed. considering it backtracks six minutes every time, getting out of bed is a mathematics game. i haven't been to the dentist in a while. leah wants to reschedule behind the wheel; that gets me super-mad. i need to get as many of those in before *basketball* season starts, although mine might be short-lived. danny and tyler have decided to engage in a game of baseball with his marketing essentials book and a collected wad of paper. study hall in here is less than exciting. i have a very busy day. i want a donut. trevor has joined the game. i like analog clocks more than digital. i like when people write me notes. i'm tired. there's chicken strips for lunch. apparently it's a real hit because the line ratio changes 3:1. he always wears a matt kenseth racing shirt. mr. dummer hadn't ever heard of tegucigalpa, honduras... until i told him about it. i'm watching the specks of birds headed southbound. the sky is really blue today.
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[october15th, 5:16p.m.]
mom doesn't usually let my have sleepovers during the week; though today is an exception. this kind of weather makes me tired. i don't really like surprises a whole lot, though the intent of it plays a huge role. i don't like chasing things. i don't really like when people "playfully ignore" me, especially when they don't know how to stop. today's lunch was my favorite. i don't even know why danny sits with us at lunch; i occasionally forget that he does, because he never says anything. i need to pack. i need to find mom's $8.00. i hate requirements. i hate restrictions. i hate when people cut me off, more than anything. i do enjoy talking. i am not a huge fan of half-shin high white socks. i know a lot more about technology than i should. i'm going to pack. until later...
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[october16th, 6:38p.m.]
i love the name piper, a lot. timmy gave me half of a half gallon of chocolate milk today. i know that's a fourth of a gallon, but i just like playing with words. i want to do something fun, soon. i feel like when i'm driving, i get easily distracted. i cannot get ready in the morning without music. all the good quotes i find i put into my phone for quick reference. my phone is infinite; i haven't met a limit yet. the sleepover last night was really fun. i like submerging myself into memories with good friends. my eyebrows are lazy in the sense that they nearly sleep in my eye-sockets. i get really excited for people when they get their braces off - ben got his off today. i can't wait until tomorrow when i can flood him with compliments. the first real concert i ever went to was at the aragon ballroom in chicago. i was ten, and i thought it was amazing. i know much too much about computers. we had a drug-search at school today. just the idea of needing one gets me disappointed. in fashion & design, we did that entire "what-is-your-color" thing. majority said i am a spring, except i don't believe there is a specific array of colors that i look better in than the rest. one of the girls in that class reminds me of my sister a lot. i don't like the word mandatory. i don't like time limits, and as of right now, i'm on one.
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[october17th, 4:57p.m.]
i rarely leave people voicemails; i hate listening to them, and i assume the same for other people. i like how you reacted to my wave. how you didn't wave back, but just extended your hand and touched mine. it was different, it was nice. it's cold today. i don't like when stores gets into seasonal trends. i want some new moccasins. i work tomorrow. i work tonight, too, but in a different location. i hate working, really. the only time i ever enjoy it is when the three other personalities i merge with mostly, are there. i don't like seeing teachers outside of school. i feel like you and i are becoming better friends everyday, and i really like it. i'm not shocked when people tell me i'm mean. i know i am, for the most part. i make opinions on shoes more so than i do of the person filling them. i hate when my computer freezes. i only like playing bingo if i can cheat, because i never win. i go through phases; fashion, music, personality, friends, ideas. that fashion and design teacher gives me a bad vibe. i like bringing reminiscences of my lunch to study hall. calvin and i are going to start a clothing-line. i get people magazine in the mail. i hate people magazine; every issue is just another glossy-paged version of all the things i can't afford. i think they forget that average people aren't making as much as the aliens glamed-up in those pictures. mr. dummer said i remind him of tina fey. i think he meant it as an insult - i took it as a compliment.
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[october18th, 9:49p.m.]
steve irwin said that if you ever need to outrun a crocodile, you need to run in a zig-zag pattern. sadly, i don't think i can ever use that information. i really dislike when people wear eyeliner on the bottom of their eye; it makes your eye too pronounced, and look so much bigger than it truly is. i have big eyes to begin with. i ran to work today. i wasn't late, or expecting i would be. i just wanted to run. i like taking naps in that la-z-boy chair upstairs. i hate when signs at companies fail to illuminate. my paycheck for today was $106.61. i hate when people make plans with me, and don't bother to even follow-up on whether they're working out or not. i'm bored. no one ever posted a schedule for work today, and thus, i have no idea when i work next week. i suppose it's not my problem then when i miss a day. i like to be informed. i am very irritable, all the time. i can't wait for tomorrow.
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[october19th, 11:22a.m.]
i'm awake for eighteen or more hours on any given day. excluding witty comments, i'm not very good on the spot. i don't like being copied, but if someone is copying your style, you know you're getting somewhere. i like credit. i don't think i can accept a label. i know what i want for christmas, already. it's a really nice day today. i woke up at 8:36 this morning. i don't know what i'm going to do with myself for the next few hours that act as a filler until my friend comes over. my dog has ripped apart the remote for the television upstairs. i'm as lazy as an acronym. i have finally found my favorite donut at work. i hate when people turn off their phones. i don't like to repeat myself. i hate answering questions, in general. i never really go "on walks". i'm afraid to comment on the fact that i haven't really had a project to do for this year yet, because i don't want to jinx it. mom was late to church today, but i wouldn't know from a first-account, i just saw her leave. i hear we look a lot alike. dad cancelled for this weekend, but i so did i for work, so i guess this weekend is all mine. it's only 11:30, but i feel like it's two. i like this.
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[october20th, 9:47a.m. room 245]
i hate platform sandals. everybody challenges me. i know i'm smart, but matt says i "downplay" it. i am so happy today. when she laughs, she reminds me of tia&tamara. i turn my alarm off in my sleep. it's rainy out, but i'm not walking home today. danny is playing with a spring from a band-stand. "danny, you are way too easily entertained." it just got really quiet in here. i've realized these need to be written strictly when i'm in a good mood. the colors outside this window are dead, today. eion keeps staring at me. i found this notebook, and the reason i have no intent of returning it is because there's nothing in it. the water droplets are scratching the windows. it's very easy to make me laugh today. my hands are cut, dry, and shredded. i love where i sit at lunch. i hate when there is an accounting test, because all those students file into our table, and fill it up. i don't want to speak in negatives. i want to enjoy today.
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[october21st, 9:57p.m.]
where did october go? i work tomorrow. i'd like a pretzel. i prefer confrontation. in two days, my phone gets renewed. i almost forgot about this, tonight. i hate when people say they look "bad" in a picture. i think i'm winning in the chap stick contest. i'm relying on my brother to pick out my car. i have almost half a grand in the bank. i want to go back upstairs.
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[october22nd, 9:18p.m.]
the heat went on just about an hour ago; i'm still adjusting. i hate when people zipper their sweatshirts all the way up. i don't stay up late enough to watch my favorite shows anymore, but i like having energy at school. my heart beat is irregular. i actually do have a lot of homework tonight, but i don't feel an urge to do any of it right now. dad likes to drone about getting good grades - for example, a's. i have a solid b in german, and i know the only reason he can't complain about it is because he failed that course in college. i hold a lot of useless knowledge. i'm going to bring my homework downstairs, because i believe this should be an office. i got out of work early today. i've decided i'm going to start bettering myself by doing things i enjoy and make me happy.
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[october23rd, 8:21p.m.]
i gave no effort toward my appearance today, though i received a lot of compliments. i'm starting to not like driving as much anymore, and that disappoints me. i need more camera batteries. i hate changing plans the day of. i'm really bad with rsvp-ing. i have to alter my spring break plans, as i can either get the nikon p80 for christmas, or travel to new york. i hate reality t.v., because i think my life has enough drama to begin with. i want to be in the city. i like watching the cars at night, in the oncoming lane, with their lights in uniformed order. i work tomorrow, and i think i've finally learned the pattern of when to do things there. quit being so negative all the time. you harp on me about complaining, when it's all you ever do. i don't like violence. i really like when people make me things. i told joey i'd drive him to the zoo on his birthday, and i really want to. i take more offense to being called dumb than anything else. i'm not really that impressed with the new girl talk album, but i have to continuously act like i am because i'm afraid you'll lose interest in going to that concert with me. i have been saving mom money on lunch lately, because i feel i need to make up for billy's over expenses. i used to stay up late waiting for someone to need me; i don't anymore. either this means those people have trickled down on my priority list, or i'm just tired of waiting.
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[october24th, 10:08a.m. room245]
trevor wont stop staring at me. may 16th is national piercing day. i haven't gone shopping since september, and i probably won't until next summer. i don't like making big decisions. i hate when people suck my into their drama. i need to buy my lord of the flies book. i'm very good at drawing straight lines. i've been having nachos every day this week. these shoes are taylors. i don't want to go to geometry.
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[october25th, 12:50p.m.]
i love adrenaline rushes. i hate when people get in my personal space. i hate when people tell me what to believe. i don't really like scary movies, at all. teepeeing wouldn't be any fun if you didn't almost get caught. i love running at night, but i'll never do it alone. i only like playing the game apples to apples if the people involved know synonyms. i do like when people help me. it's saturday, i need to get moving.
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[october26th, 10:18p.m.]
i don't like the sound of raindrops on my hood. i always watch my shadow out of the corner of my eye when i'm walking. mom always follows tradition. i really hope you don't cancel on me again; i want to hang out with you so bad, and i desperately need to get to the mall. whenever i wear these jeans, i stain them. i can't wait until next summer. i bet we won't have any snow-days this year. i hate writing papers, so i really have no clue what’s going to happen with my journalism idea. i like hopping on the rocks that scratch the shore of lake michigan. i'd prefer you sum it up. i don't like making deals with people. i took a five minute shower today. i don't really like participating in group activities. i'd really like to have my handwriting analyzed, because i think it'd be interesting. i'd really appreciate some gray converse, but i don't like how clean-cut they look straight out of the box. dad has a puzzle of stonehenge. as much as i hate being stuck with him, i wish he'd take me traveling once.
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[october27th, 12:00a.m.]
good morning. i can't sleep. i think my perm is basically gone. mom just got home not too long ago. i get too lazy at night to wash my face. as much as i don't approve of it, watching your parents drunk friends the other night was really a good time. things are pinging in my vent. i can hear the wind seeping in through my window. i like the outfit i'm going to wear today. i would really like a statement necklace. i hate gym class. i don't like presenting things in front of a class. i haven't seen you in eight weeks. i'm glad you can trust me. i'm mad you don't. i heard it snowed yesterday... but i didn't see it. my phone only holds 160 characters at a time, and it's really frustrating. i wish i could access the internet from it. i'm very sneaky. there's a war-head in my jacket that i took from theresa. i wish my phone's television worked in wisconsin. my stomach makes a lot of noise at night. it's only a three-day week, but it probably won't feel like it. it's 12:12 now. i suppose i can try again.
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[october28th, 10:05a.m. room 245]
i always thank the crossing guards. only one of my nails is painted right now. today is the first day in a week where i've worn my hair completely down. i work tonight. i wanted to go on the euro-trip next year with mr. ziegelbauer, but i can't afford it, and he really doesn't like me anyways. i never use these "pencil trenches" on the desks at school. i wish i had my ipod to drown out the sounds of this study hall. everyone just shouts about the things they find funny, but the words crash together and nothing can really be comprehended anymore. he always walks down the hallway at this time. that ink won't wash off my hand. i wish this sweatshirt fit like it used to. i like when people care about what i've got to say. i like when people pay attention. i hope tommy didn't forget my permission slip to play bingo with the old folks. i sincerely adore that kid. never once has he been quiet around me, even though we're on "opposite ends of the social spectrum". he's just so friendly. i wish there were more people like him in our school. we're talking about house colors. passing period.
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it smells like french vanilla in here. i only know because right when i walked in, she told me about it. i haven't worn my jack johnson shirt in a while. i went to more concerts this past summer than i have in my entire life. it's really warm in here.
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[october29th, 6:11p.m.]
i don't slow down when i'm texting people while i walk, like the rest of our school does. it's only a three-day week, and i totally feel like it's friday. i really don't like changing plans, but i'm usually pretty flexible with it. i'm mostly never busy. you were right about that secret. i wish i had gone trick-or-treating, just for the candy. i hate the smell of gasoline. i get my paycheck on friday.
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[october30th, 9:01p.m.]
i'm shocked at what a good brother-sister relationship you have. i hate when people use me as a footrest. i'm finally going to see nick&norah'sinfiniteplaylist tomorrow. i always forget to bring my ipod places. i never take pictures on my phone. i hate when people brag about themselves. i have really vivid dreams. i hate when people try getting me mad. i wish i could get ringtones on my phone. you remind me of my cousin. everyone thinks the sticker on the back of my phone is from american eagle. it's not. people always spell my name wrong. you and i have the softest hair in the world, and i'm not even exaggerating. i still can't wait for track. i found out another reason as to why i don't want basketball to roll around, and it's because i'd have to take all these bracelets off. tyler is lighting kevin's shoes on fire. i like his sweatshirt. i like plain things. i don't like when people spit. when i stick my tongue out, it gets really hot from the fire. i got a haircut. i like the weather today. i like how you weren't hesitant on calling me. it really gives me a new perspective on you, and i respect you a lot for it. i don't really like hanging out in big groups of people. the only shoes i ever tie are those associated with sports. that was the best birthday present i've ever given anyone. ever. my mom always gets lost, even with a gps. you're rude. i like when people say my name, but there's a limit. i don't like when people mother me. i've got to text my mom. i don't know what time i'm going home.
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[october31st, 11:50a.m.]
i'm hungry. i'm not done getting ready yet, i've still got to find some pants, and put on deodorant. i understand that sounds extremely weird, but it's not quite like that. i have amazing aim, and i'm not even kidding. sometimes, you just talk too much. i feel like i'm restricted from even breathing when you're around, because it might just interfere with your talk-time. mom wanted me to get a bunch of quarters today for a bonding-session, except she left me no money to do so. looks like i'm not. i am very good at lip-syncing. i only like to wear bracelets on my left wrist, because if i wear them on the right, they rub against my paper when i write, and distract my pencil. jake said i don't pick up my pencil when i write. he's wrong - i do, it's just too fast for him to notice. i'm actually waiting for the laundry to be done. i left the window open in the bathroom upstairs. i've washed my hair, and it still smells like a bonfire. it's friday. my back has been hurting recently. i hate how you feel like it's your duty to get into everyone's business, all the time. some things just don't involve you, so don't try to make them. i get frustrated very easily. i don't know what i'm going to have for lunch. i don't like gwen stefani's voice, and it's echoing through my speakers right now. anything is reversible, if you try hard enough. i really enjoy abbreviating things. i think my town ruins halloween by pushing all it's activities into weeks prior to it. for example, i asked the woman at the bank what the date was today, and she replied, "it's halloween". quite honestly, i really didn't know. i never really know the date. i need to transfer the wash.