june 2009

i feel like i should apologize for my "leave of absence", except i don't plan on it.

[june27th, 11:47p.m.]
i feel like when i'm with you, i don't need to constantly compete anymore. i feel like you get something about me that no one has bothered to explore, and that-in itself- makes me like you even more. i like being busy. i start at culver's on monday. i'm sick of you not trusting me. i've put so much effort into rebuilding our relationship, and i'm really interested in knowing what has corroded it. i like hearing that people think i'm funny. my phone isn't holding a charge anymore; i think she's just tired. i've only worn socks once in the past three weeks, and they were slipper-socks. i feel like i live in that shadow behind the curve.

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[june28th, 1:22p.m.]
i'm done working at the bakery, and this time i've actually quit.

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[june29th, 9:42p.m.]
i started at culver's today. i suppose today should be added on to all the days i won't be hanging out with you this summer. i wish i had plans for tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day, and the next day. i think i'm going to six flags sunday with jordan or jake, depending on who feels like it'd be a good time. i'm tired, but i don't want to retire for the night. my room is on the pathway to being cleaned. i found another car i want. i'm sorry about your mom. i feel like going for a walk, but mom doesn't condone that this late into the night. late nights, and mornings in the afternoon.

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[june30th, 12:49p.m.]
my house is a landing base for people with things to do. if that doesn't make sense to you, spend one day inside the confines of my living room and watch the traffic. my internal clock is still set for six. i work again tomorrow. i'm waiting for jordan to come over so we can "bake a cake". maybe if you stopped sounding so desperate, people would want to be around you. you branch out so far that it's almost invading. you know, i wanted to hang out with you for the longest time, and you've looked me over. now that you're so needy, i'm going to pull the same "i'm busy" card. summer has expired for the week, and it's cold and gross outside. mom turned off the air, so that means i can use the oven. see you around, june.